“From Stranger to Friend”

A couple of weeks ago, an unfamiliar young person, with a lanyard around the neck and iPad in hand, approached the parsonage. Before they ever reached the front door, I had an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach.  Though I couldn’t know for sure who this person was, I had a hunch – which turned out to be correct – that it was someone from MassPIRG, now called Environment Massachusetts.  Even as sympathetic as I am to their cause, I admit to feeling very uncomfortable when an unexpected, uninvited, unknown visitor comes to my door.  Perhaps you do, too. 

When I contemplate why this might be, I remember countless times as a small child that my mother would give us an unequivocal  message, “DON’T TALK TO STRANGERS.”  In fact, when I think about her most emphatic lessons to me and my brother, this may be at the top of the list. How many of you received a similar message? 

I dare say that a fear of strangers – xenophobia – is embedded in our national consciousness. Ours is a culture with a wariness of strangers, so unlike the Ancient Near East. 

Does anyone remember from two weeks ago, the instructions Jesus gave his disciples when he sent them on a journey two by two? He told them to “carry no purse, no bag, no sandals; to stay at the first house that welcomes them; and to eat and drink whatever are provided them.”

Jesus could give these directions with confidence because of the culture of hospitality there – a culture much the same at the time of Abraham.  In fact, even as there was a recognition that not all people are trustworthy, hospitality was seen as a moral pillar of the society. There is no worse sin in the Hebrew scriptures than being unfair to the stranger. The command to be kind to strangers appears over 50 times, more than any other command in the Torah.

In the Ancient Near East, travel was dangerous.  There were no public waystations or inns.  It could be so hot that receiving hospitality on the road was literally a matter of life or death. A whole series of customs were part of negotiating a stay. Only the male head of household or a male citizen of a town or village could offer the invitation of welcome. Once the invitation was accepted, the guest must not ask for anything. The host provides the best he has available, despite what may be modestly proposed in the initial offer of hospitality.  The purpose of these customs is to transform a potential threat into an ally; a stranger into a friend.

Notice that Abraham offers “a little water and bread,” but then asks Sarah to use “choice flour” and brings “curds, milk, and tender meat.”  Given what Abraham proposed, his guests were likely expecting a simple meal and instead received something like Tonno or Talise.  Can you imagine how you would feel about receiving such a meal? (Delighted! Can you imagine how you would feel about your host?  Warm!

After I graduated from the University of Vermont, I traveled to visit my childhood best friend, Lucy, in Germany, and then via a Eurail Pass to other parts of Europe.  At the end of the trip, I planned to depart from Brussels. Lucy suggested that she reach out to her friend, Walid, from Lebanon, who had an apartment in Brussels with his brother, Jamal.  Perhaps the two of them could put me up for the night. I had met Walid one time before and was impressed by his kindness and worldview. 

After a lengthy train trip and lots of walking under a heavy backpack, I did not know what to expect when I arrived at their apartment.  Much to my surprise, a bath had already been drawn for me, with candles adorning the room. When I had freshened up, a homemade Mediterranean stew with warm pita bread was waiting for me. Jamal and Walid sat with me, our conversation ranging from the familial to the global. Never before had I received such gracious hospitality from people who were practically strangers.  I felt like an honored guest and flew home bolstered by the experience, delighted to have made two new friends.

In New Testament Greek, the word for hospitality is philoxenia, meaning to love the stranger. What a completely different cultural norm than the one that plagues us today.

Not only is our culture afflicted by xenophobia, the fear of strangers, but powerful leaders are exploiting this fear for political ends.  In a society like ours, that already has a wariness of strangers, it doesn’t take much to inflame that fear. 

Xenophobia and anti-immigrant extremism threaten targeted individuals and communities. There are people across our country, in this state and city, who are afraid to go out of their homes for fear of deportation.  Whole communities, like Chelsea and Los Angeles, have been turned upside down by ICE.

Not only that, xenophobia and anti-immigrant extremism exacerbate the broader anti-democratic movement in this country by bolstering other extremist elements that promote bigotry and undermine democracy. Describing immigrants as “invaders,” “replacers,” or “criminals” mainstreams xenophobic, anti-immigrant, and more broadly, racist, white supremacist sentiment.

Fear of strangers is not a mere personal impediment, moral weakness, or cultural shortcoming. It is a spiritual issue with grave social, economic, and political implications. 

Those of us who strive to follow the ways of Jesus, who strive to learn from our Judeo-Christian heritage, must clearly recognize the difference between a worldview that embraces philoxenia, the love of strangers, and xenophobia, the fear of them. 

One worldview builds understanding, relationship, safety,  and community.

The other creates fear, distance, distrust, and taken to the extreme, demonization. 

Tragically, this country is showing  itself ripe for xenophobic actions to be stoked. 

Notice the morally repugnant horrors we are witnessing (stats from the Transactional Records Access Clearinghouse) :

*60,000 people (65-72% who are not criminals) taken off the streets, out of workplaces, schools and churches (pause)

*60,000 people taken away by masked, unidentified federal agents  (pause)

*60,000 people thrown into detention centers that do not meet the standards of the Geneva Conventions, some shackled and sent out of the country to be tortured… 

These inhumane actions are justified   through repetition of a fundamental falsehood   that is at the foundation of fascist ideology – that these scapegoated people somehow pose an existential threat to the country.  

We must be clear that the Biblical witness beginning in Genesis emphasizes the importance of welcome of strangers, generosity towards strangers,  love of strangers. Remember, the command to be kind to strangers appears over 50 times, more than any other command in the Torah. In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus affirms, “I was a stranger and you welcomed me.” (Mt 25.35)

The Christian ethic is an ethic of love, not fear. There can be no justification on religious or moral  grounds for what the leadership of this country is saying about or doing to immigrants, undocumented or otherwise. Full stop. 

But, when we welcome the stranger, we build friendships.  And a world of friends is far safer than a world of fear and manufactured enemies. A world where strangers become friends is a world where we practice the teachings of Jesus and meet God.  Amen. 

Sources:

“Abraham and Sarah’s Hospitality,” Theology of Work Project

“Commentary on Genesis 18:1-10a,” Kyong-Jin Lee, Working Preacher, July 20, 2025

“For You Were Strangers in the Land of Egypt,” by Rabbi Barry Schwartz, Jewish Publication Society, February 10, 2017.

“Human Rights First Xenophobia Fact Sheet”, March 2023

“Immigration Detention Quick Facts” Transactional Records Access Clearinghouse, July 13, 2025. 

“The Transformative Call to Welcome Strangers,” Carol Penner, Leading in Worship, May 12, 2021