“You Call This A Blessing?”

Pity Rebecca.

For 20 years, she longed for a child. For 20 years, her husband, Isaac, wanted a child.  The fulfillment of God’s promise to Abraham depended on her having a child. 

1 year…2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20.  

20 years of anguish. Of disappointment. Of shame. (Because, in those days it was presumed that if a woman could not become pregnant, of course, it was her fault.)

After 20 long years of infertility, Isaac finally turns to God in prayer. And Rebecca becomes pregnant. 

At last! The promise will be fulfilled! Life will be sweet and good!  Everything Isaac and Rebecca longed for will come to pass!

Such is the excitement of all couples whose path to parenthood takes time.  Whose pregnancies do not come easily or swiftly.  

Now, at last, their joy will be complete. 

Though you may or may not have never known the feeling of waiting a long time to have a child, you probably know the feeling of utter excitement when something you’ve wanted for a long, long time… something you’ve worked at for a long, long time… finally comes to pass.  When you are about to reach the pinnacle of your deepest hopes… You may have achieved the profession you’ve always wanted… bought the home of your dreams…. found a marriage partner who seems so worth the wait…you’ve retired to that place you’ve always wanted to live in…

The anticipation of how good it will be as our dreams are fulfilled sends our spirits soaring. (pause)

And then, sometimes, oftentimes, the unexpected and unwanted happens.

The job isn’t what you thought it would be.  The new house has more costly issues than the housing inspection discovered.  The person you married has faults you didn’t see and don’t know if you can abide.  You didn’t expect post-partum depression. You didn’t imagine twins or children who couldn’t get along. 

How could your longed for dream go so wrong?

And you may wonder,  why is life so difficult? How could this happen?  I thought that God had blessed me. I thought God blessed my dream.  But, what’s happening does not feel like a blessing.

This is how Rebekah must have felt.  After waiting 20 years for a child, and then having the sensation that the children were almost crushing one another inside her.  It was so bad, she asks God “If it is to be this way, why do I live?” 

The answer she receives is far from satisfying. “Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples born of you shall be divided.”

Really, God? After such a long wait for a pregnancy, this is her fate? This is the fate of God’s people? To be divided? What is going on here? 

Sometimes our prayers are answered, but not in the way we want. 

One interpretation might be, “Be careful what you pray for… you just might get it.” 

But, a deeper lesson might be that our vision for how we believe God’s blessings will manifest – smoothly and easily – is not only not guaranteed, but ought not be expected. 

Maybe the more profound lesson is about how God invites us to keep trusting in the midst of those inevitable times when life is not at all what we hope for or want, when our family relationships are difficult.

In today’s reading, we are led to believe that from the womb neither Esau nor Jacob are going to be easy or get along. From the beginning, both are inherently flawed and so different from each other.  Like.  All.  Of. Us.  Inherently flawed, different from our family members. Different from each other.  And still blessed. All of us.

The cultural expectations of Jacob and Esau’s time only served to exacerbate their conflict. One would receive the birthright – a destiny of riches – while the other would merely scrape by.  Under these circumstances, given the stakes, is it any surprise that their worst and not their best qualities would surface?  Talk about the consequences of an unjust system of income inequality.

I am reminded of my paternal grandmother, Louise. She had two older brothers, Bob and Bill.  All three children were bright, hard-working, and capable of excelling at college.  But, in the 1940’s, the family only had enough money to send one to university, the eldest.  That decision altered the trajectory of their lives and the relationships in the family.  Bill, the eldest, went to Colgate University,  became a professional and moved out of state.  Bob and my grandmother remained close to home and to each other- but not Bill – for the rest of their lives.  

Perhaps you have similar stories, similar splits, in your family. 

The stories of our ancestors, the stories of our families of origin, and our own stories, are often not that different from Isaac, Rebekah, Esau, and Jacob.  

Like Rebekah, we all have experiences in our lives that are not only deeply disappointing, but overwhelming.  When our dreams fall apart, we may be tempted to wonder if God really has blessed us. We may be so upset, even angry, that our trust in God wavers or even ends.

But, could it be that in the midst of our deepest disappointments and family conflicts that God is continuing to work?  Could it be that God’s timeline is longer than our timeline? 

At one point or another in our lives, we may look at our family, our in-laws, our co-workers, our neighbors, our political leaders and wonder, why did God place me with these people? 

Reflecting on today’s reading, Rev. Bruce Epperly writes, “God has not abandoned those whom we mistrust and dislike. We may still watch our wallets, condemn their prevarications, suspect their motivations, or pledge their political defeat, even as we look for God’s activity in their lives. The ever-present God moves quietly – and sometimes dramatically – in everyone’s lives. We need to train our eyes on the divine in the lowest and the highest, the sinner and the sin, the rich and famous and the nuisance and nobody.”

This is no easy task.  There are no heroes or saints  in today’s passage. 

It’s good that Isaac prayed for his wife… but did he have to wait 20 years to do so?

It’s good that Rebekah persisted in trying to get pregnant … but did she have to choose a favorite between her boys? And further divide the family?

It’s good that Esau was a successful hunter… but did he have to be so impulsive?

It’s good that Jacob was a chef and companion to Rebekah… but did he have to be deceitful?

Somehow, in spite of their faults and failings, God’s love for them – just as they are – never stops. Likewise, God’s love for the people who push our buttons never stops. God will even use our missteps for God’s purposes.

God doesn’t love any of us because of who we are or what we do, but because of who God is.

And God doesn’t give up on any of us. No matter how faulty. No matter how divided.

God blesses us and everyone else, in the midst of our imperfections, disappointments, and overwhelm. Remember the words of Jesus, “God makes the sun rise on the evil and on the good and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous.” 

When it looks like our dreams are not working out the way we hoped, let us not make the mistake of thinking that God’s blessing is suspect.  Instead, may we be like both Isaac and Rebekah and take our heartaches to the One who has promised to be faithful always.  Trusting in our God, may we do our best to love all those – no matter how annoying and problematic – whom God has given us on the path of life. Amen.